I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
