Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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