we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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