I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
