And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
