Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
