why didn't you poke me back
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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