Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
