my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
These tits shall not be calmed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
