it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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