Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
