I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize