she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
