Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
