My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
