I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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