My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My dick has a subreddit
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
