we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
