i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
