Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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