I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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