New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
