My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize