Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
