You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
