3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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