People in love make me want to vomit
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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