I think i sorta joined a cult last night
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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