Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize