But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
