Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Houston, we have a blender
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
