Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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