hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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