He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
