You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
did i just pee glitter
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
