A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
