yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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