just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
