Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
