Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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