Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have already put on my inside pants.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
