arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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