im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
