Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
