This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize