he puts the penis in happiness.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
