apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
