Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
