I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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