i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
