Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
