Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry JEAH hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.

Fav 26 3828 1223
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...

Fav 12 995 4435
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.

Fav 13 5343 1315
share tweet
(775): View more from Nevada

Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?

Fav 20 1428 7915
share tweet
(469): View more from Texas

I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.

Fav 9 1140 3354
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.

Fav 5 1577 906
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.

Fav 10 3362 803
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.

Fav 3 21 47
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?

Fav 0 67 52
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT