Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
