Sponge bath it is.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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