so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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