Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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