then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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