Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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