can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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