wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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