Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
