Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
