It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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