the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
