Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
