Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
