McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
