a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
