she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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