so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
