could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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