Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
