there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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