Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My cat gives me a boner
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The best revenge is premature balding
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My dick has a subreddit
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
