We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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