The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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