I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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